It’s Hard Enough To Change Ourselves Let Alone To Change Others

We’re all very busy posting, tweeting and sharing, much of it designed to change the minds of others. This is understandable but not the best use of our time because change is extremely difficult even when we are motivated. So to try to change people to see things our way who aren’t particularly motivated to do so has some degree of futility embedded in it. Better perhaps if we use our time to try to change our own minds, to try to get our own house in order. We are the only ones who we have any real control over. And perhaps if we do manage to change and improve ourselves it will be reflected in everything we do and rub off on those around us.

One thought on “It’s Hard Enough To Change Ourselves Let Alone To Change Others

  1. Sharon Karp

    Changing others, whether it be changing their opinions or changing their persona, is a massive or often futile undertaking, Most people are set in their ways and especially as they get older — kind of like “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

    Often, believing one’s own opinions or perceptions is somehow comforting and changing to something else is threatening and unfamiliar to most people, unless there’s a strong or cataclysmic reason to change a behavior pattern, it’s just not going to happen.

    It can also be said that people don’t change unless they’re forced to, which is probably true in some cases, but most people probably don’t feel the need to change because their opinions and values are not only right but also set in stone. It’s difficult to argue or even have a viable discourse with those who are rigid and inflexible in their thinking.

    As far as changing others, particularly behavior-wise, it is virtually impossible. In relationships, many years down the road, it probably becomes apparent that the person whether a spouse, relative, friend, co-worker, etc. refuses to change their ways or idiosyncrasies, the relationship either falls apart or continues within the same sea of frustration and argument. It’s often, if not always, a losing battle.

    So, perhaps acceptance is the key: Don’t try to change people and for oneself, be as open-minded as possible and in the end, do not have altercations or riveting/shouting matches with lost causes.
    Just smile, say “okay” and … walk away!


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