When relationships have been severely damaged, it is very difficult to repair them because we tend to see our partners through the eyes of the past and not how they are behaving towards us now. This perpetuates our sense of victimhood. It reinforces our resentments. It makes healthy communication close to impossible. Consequently, it behooves us to try to not drag the past into our present moments, to not assume our partner is trying to hurt us, to give our partner the benefit of the doubt. When we do this, we increase the potential for real healing to take place.