There are two levels of learning involved with my videos. One level is to provide people with tools to effectively and successfully navigate their lives, their health, their relationships, their psyche, etc. And another level involves the spiritual realm, helping people to increase their awareness of Love’s presence within themselves, within others, within every aspect of our world… And then I segue into open-mindedness vs confirmation bias, and some other stuff.
Set boundaries. Validate, then counterpoint. Choose your battles. Everything is love or a call for love. Do you want to be right or happy? Anger hurts, forgiveness heals. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Pay attention to the red flags in relationships. If you have a sense, an intuition that something isn’t right, that the answers you’re getting don’t really make sense, don’t sweep your suspicions under the rug. Face the music. Confront your fears. Confront your red flags. Ask questions. Because if you don’t, then the red flags are likely to reveal themselves down the the road after you have invested a great deal of yourself, your time, and your resources in an ultimately unsatisfying and unsustainable relationship.
Defense mechanisms like denial, displacement, projection. and rationalization damage relationships and make it difficult to repair them because they interfere with effective communication. Gaining insight into the ways our unconscious defense mechanisms rule our perceptions, thoughts, feelings and behaviors allows us to be more objective and honest in our discourse with others, the end result being greater understanding, compassion and healing.
I’ve discussed this idea in the past, how everything that people do is motivated by love or a call for love, so the only appropriate response in any situation is to extend love. A number of people have not understood this, have misinterpreted it, have suggested that I am encouraging people to extend love to toxic, dangerous predators, which is not even close to what I have been talking about. This philosophy is best applied to relationships where there is a foundation of love, and yet an argument erupts with a lot of anger, raised voices and name-calling, all of which are extremely counter-productive if one wants to resolve the conflict in a loving way that doesn’t generate more resentment and unhappiness.
Most of us think that forgiveness is solely a spiritual principle and that spending a lot of time and energy on spiritual matters isn’t going to put food on our plate or get us our next promotion. Although for some of us, this may be true, for most of us, if we extend compassion, acceptance, forgiveness and charity towards others on a regular basis, our lives will get better on the physical, emotional, spiritual AND material plane as well. How does that work? Unconditional forgiveness of others neutralizes our own guilt, shame and self-loathing deeply embedded in our unconscious mind which cause us to sabotage ourselves, thereby clearing the way for abundance and success. In other words, forgiveness is actually a prosperity principle!
If you make a verbal agreement with someone, particularly a significant other, it is a contract and you need to do or not do what you agreed to. If you break the contract, even just one time, one exception, you are breaking trust, building resentment and damaging the relationship, often making it difficult to repair. If you don’t like the agreement you have made, rather than break it and generate bad will, re-negotiate the terms.
You’ve heard me say that what we think is what we get, that we create our reality with our thoughts. Many of you may not perceive yourself as master of your fate. Many of you may not agree that “the fault, dear Brutus, lies in ourselves not in our stars that we are underlings.” As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for you?” Our subconscious mind is very powerful. When we tell ourselves and other people that, “I can’t do it,” we’re sending a message to our subconscious mind, which will do everything in its power to make that thought a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is not semantics. This is how it works. So we choose our words and our thoughts which precede our words, carefully. Better to say, “I’m having difficulty” doing something rather than saying “I can’t do it!” Better to be hopeful and positive and work hard towards our goals and dreams, and not subvert them by sending negative messages of limitations and failure to our subconscious mind, increasing the odds of turning our “I can’t” into an unsatisfying reality.
I talk about how to stick up for yourself, how to avoid getting defensive, how to set boundaries with people, how to neutralize negativity with your mind, why it’s best to leave toxic, hostile people and places rather than tolerate bullies and stressful situations in your life.
Now more than ever it is obvious that appearances can be deceiving and that we shouldn’t always believe what we see when we judge the character of others. People have facades and we have biases which lead us to jump to the conclusion that they are good or bad, and then we are reluctant to challenge what are often our misconceptions about them. We tend to see things in terms of black or white and don’t leave room for good people to do bad things and for bad people to do good things. Rather than paint everyone with a broad brush, perhaps it is best to judge their acts and deeds, rather than judge their character by how successful they are, how pretty they look, or how they make us feel when they are in their performance mode, manipulating our feelings. Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing comes to mind. We need to be more discerning and dig deeper for the Truth before we decide who are the heroes and the villains in our lives.