It’s Exhausting Caring About What Other People Think Of Us

September 20th, 2017

Many of us do not have a solid sense of self, such that when the world smiles at us we feel good, when the world frowns at us we feel bad. This makes us victims of the external world. This puts our personal power in the hands of others rather than in our own hands where it belongs. Best we not let undue praise or criticism fool us, diminish us or get in the way of us feeling good about ourselves. Regardless of other people’s opinions and attitudes towards us, we know who we are.

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When Depression Acts As A Defense Mechanism To Protect Us

September 19th, 2017

A patient of mine was extremely depressed, was having difficulty leaving the house, felt the need for more medication. We talked about his future. He had been isolated for 6 months because of severe migraines and neck pain, and was terrified about going back to school and back to his part-time job, full of fear that he would fail. The depression, which was keeping him from re-engaging in the world, was protecting him, keeping him safe because if he couldn’t get out of bed, he wouldn’t have to face his fears. I pointed out to him that it was his fear and not depression which was the problem, and once he confronted his fear the depression would go away, which it did.

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Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum

September 17th, 2017

Some people have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. They like things organized and precise. They don’t like clutter. Some people have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. They are rigid in their thinking, want things done their way, don’t like change. Some people have obsessive-compulsive disorder. They can’t control their thoughts. Or they can’t stop washing their hands, checking locks on doors, or counting to a certain number before doing a particular action. It can be extremely time consuming, debilitating and emotionally overwhelming. Fortunately, they can be treated with cognitive therapy and/or medications.

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Challenge Your Beliefs. Don’t Assume You’re Right.

September 16th, 2017

Denial, rationalization and projection are several defense mechanisms that help us reduce our anxiety and angst by fooling us into believing something about ourselves that isn’t true. In the short run, it may be a positive. But in the long run it proves to be a big mistake not to hold a mirror up to our beliefs, our biases, and our self-image. Best we be open-minded and willing to look at our flaws and imperfections. They don’t make us evil or horrible people. It is actually strength and not weakness to admit when we’re wrong. Ultimately, the best way to live our lives is to be as honest as we can with ourselves and others. And to be compassionate in the process of sharing our truth.

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Compassion For Animals vs The Sickness of Our Collective Soul

September 10th, 2017

Someone mocked a news story about New Zealand acknowledging that animals think and have feelings, and are sentient beings. This saddened me deeply. We are so busy advancing our technology in our efforts to master the universe that we forget we are part of the animal kingdom and owe an allegiance to all creatures great and small. To lack compassion for the meek and helpless, choosing to exploit them rather than protect them, is the symptom of a soul sickened by ego and avarice. What can we do about it? We can be a role model of compassion and right action. We can extend love to everyone as best we can. We can practice humility and grace in all of our transactions with others.

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Social Anxiety Disorder – What It Is and What You Can Do About It

September 10th, 2017

Social Anxiety Disorder is a condition of extreme anxiety related to meeting new people and being around people, the fear being that you will say or do something that will appear incredibly foolish and embarrassing. Rather than get proper treatment, you tend to avoid people and co-exist with your discomfort and happiness. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are techniques for decreasing the anxiety, de-sensitizing yourself, and increasing your self-esteem and confidence.

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Riffing About Stuff – 3

September 9th, 2017

I discuss different topics including God, religion, the Golden Rule, setting boundaries with people, interrupting people, resentments, getting triggered by others.

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Don’t Say ‘No.’ Say ‘Not Yet.’

September 5th, 2017

When we say “not yet” rather than “no,” we are sending a positive message to our subconscious mind that we eventually plan to do it and get it done. However, we should also keep in mind: “If not now, when?,” so that we don’t perpetually procrastinate and never complete the task.

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When You Do Something Wrong, Admit It. Take Responsibility

September 4th, 2017

If we behave badly, we need to take responsibility and apologize for that, and make an effort in the future to not repeat that bad behavior. It doesn’t matter if we were provoked and triggered by somebody else’s bad behavior, we still need to apologize and make amends.

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Riffing About Stuff – 2

September 3rd, 2017

I did a Facebook Live show and talked about the Golden Rule: Treat others as you wish to be treated. I talked about courtesy and consideration. I talked about setting, maintaining and respecting boundaries. I talked about how anger hurts, forgiveness heals. I talked about not sweating the small stuff and not being so sensitive.

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