The best solution for people with difficulty managing mood swings, anxieties, and impulsivities is not a pill. It’s the power of their thoughts harnessed effectively with the goal of maximizing positive outcomes in all aspects of their lives.

With the proper set of psychological tools, one can learn to stabilize emotional states amidst stress and chaos, navigate difficulties and obstacles in one’s life path, effectively communicate with others and strengthen relationships, and eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors.

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The world is having a nervous breakdown. Despite incredible technological advances and mind-boggling innovations that make it easier for us to communicate and cooperate with each other, there is more miscommunication and divisiveness than ever before.

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Gratitude is a valuable supplement to the Forgiveness Diet. As we maintain a focus on what we have to be grateful for, rather than what we lack or how we’ve been victimized, it makes it easier for us to be kind and generous to others and to forgive those who have hurt us. For more info: Check out the Amazon Best Seller, Forgive To Win! by psychiatrist and forgiveness expert, Walter E Jacobson, MD: Forgive To Win!

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Visualizations are a valuable supplement to the Forgiveness Diet.There is a special “Forgiveness Bridge” visualization which is extremely powerful and effective in overcoming the unwillingness to forgive someone. For more information, check out the Amazon Best Seller, Forgive To Win!, by psychiatrist, speaker, author and forgiveness expert, Walter E Jacobson, MD: Forgive To Win!

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Affirmations are a valuable supplement in the Forgiveness Diet to help eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors getting in the way of success. For more information, read the Amazon Best Seller, Forgive To Win!, by psychiatrist and forgiveness expert, Walter E Jacobson, MD.

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When we are having difficulty forgiving others, we focus on our blessings and on being grateful for what we have in our lives despite what has been done to us. This can take the sting out of any offense and make it easier for us to let go of our resentments in order to forgive.

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I’ve been asked why I’m passionate about teaching forgiveness. It’s because all religious, spiritual and metaphysical roads I’ve traveled have led me here, to this one Truth borrowed from A Course In Miracles: I forgive others for my own peace of mind.

In my late twenties I read the Bible, the Old and New Testament, for the first time. Although I was impressed with the transformation of God’s consciousness from the Old Testament God of anger, judgment, vengeance and war to the New Testament God of peace, love, acceptance, charity and forgiveness, I was more impressed with the implications of several thought-provoking Biblical comments:

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We need to re-discover the Now for ourselves because we’re really missing the party. What we are calling the Now is actually the “Now & Then.” Why? Because we bring our baggage from the past into the present moment.

We bring our judgments, experiences, prejudices, biases, resentments, and grievances from the past and throw them on top of whatever’s going on in the present, such that it’s no longer the present moment we’re experiencing, it’s a combination of the past mixed in with the present.

Consequently, we are not perceiving people as they are, we are seeing and reacting to them as we perceived them in the past, with all our judgments and grievances, which contributes to miscommunication, misunderstandings and the furthering of resentments and other negativities.

We do all of this as a survival mechanism, a defense mechanism, so that we can anticipate as much as possible, predict and control as much as possible, so that we won’t get hurt by the world and its chaos.

Unfortunately, this tends not to make us feel any safer or more secure. Additionally, it shuts down our spontanaety. It shuts down the intuitive process. It shuts down our awareness of opportunities and potentials synchronistically delivered to us as answers to our prayers. If we are not in the moment how can we be receptive to its gifts?

So what do we do to be in the Now?

1) We try to see people as they really are, not through the eyes of the past. We put aside our judgments and grievances. We remind ourselves that there is another way of looking at any situation.

We try to experience the people, places and things in our lives in the Now without critical analysis. We can do all the analyzing and interpreting later at some other time devoted specifically to thinking and evaluating our experiences.

2) Forget about smelling the roses. We need to smell the entire universe. And so we make a special effort in every moment of Now to experience it, to be attentive to all the sensations entering our consciousness.

This not only centers us and balances us, it also affords us the opportunity to receive intuitive as well as extra-sensory perceptions. As we quiet the mind, we remove the filters to its natural awareness of these components of reality.

A corollary of this is to avoid multi-tasking whenever possible because when our attention is divided amongst many activities or concerns, being in the Now is impossible. So we decide to do one thing and put all our intention and attention into it, avoiding all other distractions and mental considerations.

3) We remind ourselves that there is nothing to fear. In the present moment, in the Now, we are not threatened, we are safe.

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Many of us, oftentimes, call out for love from our loved ones in ways that are inappropriate, hurtful and destructive, such as when we attack them with verbal assaults when we feel threatened, rejected or invalidated.

Underneath our attacks, including those that are passive-aggressive, is a deep fear of abandonment and a deep desire to be nurtured and loved. But rather than come out and say that, rather than communicate that we are feeling insecure and unloved, and that we desire to be reassured and nurtured, we get angry and we attack.

The end result is the exact opposite of what we want: we push our loved ones away rather than draw them to us.

Love or a Call For Love

Ultimately, everything that people do is either love or a call for love that is disguised in fear and attack.

If we are willing and able to accept this as true, that everything is either love or a call for love, then the appropriate response, regardless of what is happening, is to be loving.

So, on this first day of the New Year, let’s choose to be loving in all our actions and let’s make this our New Year’s Resolution.

Let’s make the decision today to behave in loving ways every day and in every way regardless of what’s going on and who’s doing what.

It doesn’t mean we condone bad behaviors. It doesn’t mean we accept abuse, allow ourselves to be doormats, or place ourselves in harm’s way.

It means holding in our minds and hearts the ideals of compassion and acceptance. It means releasing judgments and resentments.

It means desiring to understand, to give the benefit of the doubt, to share, to care, to be considerate of the needs of others.

It means forgiving, letting go of the past. It means role modeling right thought and action for others.

This New Year’s Day, if we embrace this one resolution, to respond to the call for love from others with unconditional love, and we practice this every day to the best of our intention, over time we will see benefits in our lives.

Love is all there is. Everything else is a bad dream. If we each do our part to be as loving as we possibly can, to put aside pride, ego, arrogance and self–entitlement, to be of service to others, to put our needs last instead of first, and to find ways to compromise for the greatest good of all concerned, our lives will work better and yield greater rewards, and our world will reflect these changes as well.

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