If something “good” happens, does that make you happy? If something “bad” happens, does that make you sad?

If someone says something “nice” to you, does that generate warmth and endearment? If someone says something “mean” to you, does that generate anger and resentment?

If something appears “safe” to you, does that cause you to feel calm and confident? If something appears “threatening” to you, does that cause you to feel anxious and insecure?

Let not your perceptions of good and bad, nice and mean, safe and threatening intrude upon your joy and peace of mind. Oftentimes these judgments are biased by our fear and our lack of sufficient information, such that they lead our emotions down paths of pain, confusion and inappropriate reactivity.

Even when our perceptions and judgments are spot on, we need not let them send our heart and mind into turmoil and aggression. We are not victims of our perceptions. We are not victims of our thoughts. We are not victims of our emotions.

Despite what “hurricanes” we find ourselves caught up in, we can choose calm over chaos. We can choose to be compassionate, forgiving and content.

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When you have difficulty forgiving, keep in mind that the underlying reason people attack us is because of fear and insecurity, and that what they are really doing is calling out for love. If you can appreciate this and rise above the battlefield of dueling egos, you have the opportunity to respond with compassion and forgiveness, and significantly transform the experience and the relationship.

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