What Can Tennessee Firemen & Burning Houses Teach Us About Our Lives & Relationships?
by Walter E. Jacobson · Filed Under: Happiness · Inspiration · Motivation · Personal Development · Positive Psychology · Relationships · Self-Improvement · Spirituality · Success · Well-Being · building self esteem · marriage · mental health · psychiatrist · self-help
We are losing our moral center. We are losing our compassion for others. Due to the severity of our economic climate, we are allowing our resentments, our anger and our fear to dictate our actions to the point of our making choices that are cruel, unloving, unjust, and, ironically, extremely short-sighted and self-destructive.
Despite it being understandable that, amidst our anger, frustration and sense of injustice, we might get pleasure from fantasy thoughts about a guy’s house burning down because he didn’t want to pay his fair share, it is unacceptable that thoughts of vengeance such as this should be acted out in the real world to the detriment of others.
Letting a house burn down out of indignation and to “teach a lesson” is an immature and infantile approach to problem solving and conflict resolution. It is an acting out behavior. It is inappropriate, unchecked aggression.
Letting a house burn down is also shortsighted. To quote Newton’s Third Law of Thermodynamics: “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” When we do things that are petty, petulant, impulsive and aggressive, we set into play anger, resentment, hostility and a desire for vengeance, all of which leads to more aggression, violence and wasted resources.
How can we apply this to our lives and our personal relationships? What must we do?
- We need to pay attention to our thoughts and appreciate that when we are frustrated, depressed, anxious, or angry, we aren’t going to be thinking as clearly as when we are calm and stress-free. Should thoughts of ego, pride and vengeance occur, it is best we censor those thoughts. It is best we recognize that they are not healthy thoughts, that they are not compassionate thoughts, and that they are not who we want to be.
- We need to not act out when we become angry. We need to remind ourselves that although instant gratification of our anger and displeasure would be extremely exhilarating, aggression against others is a self-destructive tactic in the long run.
- When we perceive others as deserving of harsh judgment and punishment, we need to ask ourselves how we would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. We need to ask ourselves how we would feel if it was our own house burning down while others watched with smug, self-righteous satisfaction.
- Amidst our struggles to survive and overcome the lack and limitations in our lives, we need to recall the words of Albert Einstein: “Remember your humanity. Forget the rest.”
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Love the wisdom and the words of Albert Einstein. I read his autobiography and it is very interesting. Thank you for always showing us the nice way to be.
Hi Walter,
Too true – managing or emotions and judgements is essential.
I’ve just had a shot at a generalised formula for success, which aims to be a broad way of breaking success down. I hadn’t thought of adding emotion management and similar techniques to the model, but I’ll have to fit them in somewhere. I invite you to have a look, and I’d love to hear your comments! http://personaldevelopmentscience.com/a-general-formula-for-success/
thanks for your comment, warren. i went to your website and to your blogs and enjoyed them. we share many of the principles of positive psychology in our writings.