What Can The Tea Party Movement Teach Us About Our Personal Relationships?

The tea party movement is not something that was cooked up overnight. It is the result of many years of disappointment, anger, fear, frustration, and resentment.

Our government (more specifically, the political parties running our government, our country, and our planet into the ground) mired in waste, corruption, abuse, and selfish special interests, unresponsive to the growing anger and angst of the American people, and not taking the American people’s discontentment seriously enough to change its behavior, created a pressure cooker, of sorts, whereby the pent-up frustrations and sense of powerlessness exploded onto the political landscape in the form of a radical rather than a more moderate solution.

However positive aspects of the tea party movement may be, there are elements of its rhetoric and ideology which are aggressive, divisive, radical and reactionary in various respects, and which are, consequently, not necessarily in the nation’s best interests in the long run.

The same scenario occurs in personal relationships. If there are grievances in the relationship — with partners feeling that their needs are not being met and that there is no effective means for communication and change — anger and resentments will build to the point where extreme situations are generated which are usually impulsive, aggressive, and counterproductive to the  repair and well-being of the relationship.

For example, one partner may have an affair. One partner may become emotionally or physically abusive. Accidents may happen in cars when partners are screaming at each other while driving. Accidents may occur in the home when partners are distracted and imbalanced by their stress and their anger.

It is a fact that stress and anger suppress the immune system, make people more susceptible to illness, and make it harder for people to recover from illness, all of which behooves us to consider the possibility of our pent-up anger and stress generating cancers, heart disease, and strokes.

In summary, when our relationships are suffering, best not to wait for an extreme or catastrophic development before taking action. Best not to have a crisis be our wake-up call to pay attention to the relationship.

Best we recognize problems as they develop and address grievances in an effective way such that the relationship gets stronger and endures the test of time.

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Dynamic Inspirational & Motivational Speaker

The Importance of Making Amends in Baseball, Politics and Personal Relationships

Making amends is the process of correcting an error and rectifying a wrong. It is a very important part of the social contract because, above all else, it is the right thing to do. It does, however, have other perks.

It has the potential to build character, self-respect, and self-esteem, to resolve resentments, and to restore trust, all of which can lead to greater well-being for the individual and society.

Unfortunately, there is an unwillingness on the part of many people to address past errors and correct them.  Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig’s recent decision, to not correct the obvious umpire error that cost Armando Galarraga his perfect game, speaks to this issue.

From what I understand, one of the reasons Commissioner Selig refused to reverse the incorrect call at first base was because, if he did so, it would lead to any number of requests from other people to correct other past errors as well. This would require the commitment of a great deal of time, money and energy, which is something Commissioner Selig was not inclined to do.

This reminded me of President Obama’s decision, when he came into office, to not prosecute past transgressions of the Bush Administration because he preferred to focus his attention on the future and not get bogged down with the past.

Neither of these decisions by the Commissioner and the President constitute wise choices, insofar as they minimize the importance of championing truth and justice regardless of how unpleasant or inconvenient it might be to do so. Additionally, they represent extremely poor role-modeling.

In 12-Step programs, making amends is an important part of the healing process. When a recovering alcoholic reaches out to those he has injured in the past, apologizes for his bad behavior, and makes amends as best as he can, it removes shame and guilt, it helps him to clear away the wreckage of his past, it helps him to rebuild self-esteem and self-respect, and it has the potential to heal his relationships as well.

All of the above is true, whether one is a recovering alcoholic or not. When we have committed an injustice against another, it is our responsibility and our salvation to make amends, to repair the situation, and to make things right as best we can.

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Dynamic Inspirational & Motivational Speaker